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6 years ago
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
20 Cara Terbaik Nak JadiKan RooMate Korunk Gila~
1. Setiap hari Jumaat, pack segala barang anda dan bagitau kat roommate anda nak balik kampung. Selepas sejam, balik ke bilik & terangkan bhw takde org kat rumah. Unpack segala brg anda & pegi tidor.
2. Setiap kali roommate anda balik, jerit sekuat hati" horee...kau dah balik". Lepas tu menari dlm 5 minit. Lepas tu, tenung jam lama2 dan tanya dia "Sepatutnya kau dah blah dah skrg"
3. Buat2 terjaga pd tengah malam, jerit kuat2 " Tolong, kat mana aku berada ni?" dan lari keliling bilik tu. Kalau bilik kecil, cukuplah sekadar melompat 2-3 kali. Kemudian, sambung tidor. Esoknya, kalo dia tanya, pura2 tak tahu apa yg dia cakap.
4. Ambil marker, buat bulatan kecil kat lengan anda. Besarkan bulatan tu setiap hari sambil berkata "Dah merebak... dah merebak!"
5. Beli pepokok bonsai. Bercakap & tidor dengan pokok tu setiap hari. Selepas seminggu, bertengkar dgn pokok tu dan cakap "Aku tak boleh hidup sebilik dengan kau lagi" sambil keluar & menghempaskan pintu bilik dgn kuat...Buang pokok tu tapi biarkan pasu kat situ.
6. Beli pisau banyak-banyak. Tajamkan setiap malam sambil merenung roommate anda sambil berkata "Tak lama lagi...tak lama lagi..."
7. Duduk didepan papan chess dua-tiga jam tanpa buat apa2 atau cakap apa2. Lepas tu bangun secara tiba2 sambil berkata, "Siot betul, kalah lagi"
8. Setiap kali roommate balik, tutup lampu dan tidor. lepas dia keluar, bangun dan menjerit dgn kuat "Horee...!". bukak lampu semula.
9. Pakai topi kertas. Bila dia balik, cakap "Selamat Datang ke McDonald. Boleh saya ambil pesanan anda..." Lepas tu buat muka *****, sambil berkata "Eh, kau rupanya..."
10. Kata kat roommate "Ada pesanan penting untuk kau". Lepas tu buat2 pengsan. Lepas 2-3 jam, bangun dan cakap yagn anda dah lupa pesanan tu. Kemudian, cakap "Eh...aku dah ingat". Lepas tu pengsan balik.
11. Bila roommate anda balik, berpura2 tengah telefon. Caci maki dan menjerit dengan kuat kat telefon tu. Lepas tu letak telefon dan cakap kat roommate bhw yg telefon tadi adalah mak dia. Cakap mak dia akan telefon balik.
12. Kalau roommate suka gosok gigi kat sinki, perhatikan sampai habis. Lepas dia habis, cakap dengan dia bhw anda kena ajar dia cara mengosok gigi dengan betul.
13. Edarkan risalah ke kawasan kedai/rumah kedai berdekatan rumah/kampus. Dalam risalah tu, nyatakan bahawa roommate anda hilang. Letak sekali gambar dia dlm risalah tu. Tawarkan hadiah kepada sesiapa yg menjumpai roommate anda.
14. Bila roommate anda tutup lampu pd sebelah malam, nyanyi lagu opera sekuat hati. Bila dia buka balik lampu, buat2 muka ***** dan confused.
15. Duduk & renung roommate dlm 2-3 jam. Kalau boleh, bawa member2 sekali sambil makan kacang & popcorn. Buat macam tengah tengok wayang.
16. Masa roommate tiada, ambil deodoran dan sapukan pada seluruh dinding bilik. Bila dia balik, puji bahawa bilik berbau wangi. Lakukan selalu sampai deodoran tu habis.
17. Kalau roommate ada binatang peliharaan, spt kucing, offer utk beri makan kpd binatang tsbt. Cepat2 keluarkan botol gam atau minyak rambut sebelum dia beri persetujuan kpd kau.
18. Pegang & gosok-gosok rambut roommate anda sambil berkata "Rambut kau hitam, lurus dan berkilat la...Macam teknik rebonding...". Sekali-sekala buat masa dia tengah tidur.
19. Mase roommate tido, bungkus dia macam kafan mayat (siap ikat), pastu panggil member dlm 10 bace yasin ramai2.
bile rumet jage pakat2 buat x nmpk ape2.
20. Sebelum roommate balik dari kelas, bungkus diri sendiri macam kafan (siap ikat jugak) pastu baring senyap-senyap atas katil dia. Mesti dia terkujat sampai pengsan bila masuk bilik tengok2 ada mayat.
PASNI KOMPIM ROOMATE KORANG MINTAK TUKAR BILIK..WAKAKA
My Story As Wang Ringgit
Duit seringgit telah bertemu dengan lima puluh ringgit dan bertanya:"Oit,lama tak nampak, mana ko pergi?"
Lima puluh menjawab " Aku pergi merata tempat. Pergi stadium tgk bola, Naik STAR Cruise, gi KK naik AirAsia, lepak One Utama, konsert AF, M'sian Idol..tempat2 cam tuh lah. Eh, ko camner
lak?"
Duit seringit menjawab perlahan seraya menunduk, "Hmm..biasa lah..Balik-balik tempat sama.. surau, masjid, surau... ".
CiTer Lucah Lagik - [20 sx]
GUA NAK CERITA SUATU HARI TU
ANGIN TIUP SEMPOI-SEMPOI BAHASE
DER SEKOR KAMBING BETINE..
TGAH LENGGOK PINGGUL BERJALAN
PASTU DER LAGI SEKOR KAMBING (jantan mak !)
MAIN SWEET2 LA PLAK
LALU BINATANG NI PUN JLN BERIRINGAN
PERH DARING ABISSS
TIBE-TIBE BINATANG KAMBING BERPELUH-PELUH SEMACAM
AH SUDAH! DAH LA BUKAN MUHRIM TAPI JLN SAME2
OOoo...KAMBING-KAMBING NI DAH KEGERSANGAN SBB...
BERJALAN DI PADANG PASIR YANG GERSANG
(HA.. KORANG MESTI DAH INGAT YG BUKAN2 TADI.
How To Know Your Nokia Phone Good Quality OR just rubbish
A couple days ago, i bought nokia phone without some proper research - then after i bought it i found that my phone just manufactured from china but at least with good quality and i satisfied with it. Then, after that i noticed that, some of websites mention about where is your nokia have been manufactured or your nokia is the fake one. Today i bring u how to know is it your nokia is the good one or fake on.
To find out where your nokia phone was made look at digits number 7and 8 (YY) of your IMEI.. To get the IMEI number just type ( *#06# ) in your phone. To get other nokia codes -- click here ---
XXXXXX/YY/ZZZZZZ/A
XXXXXX = Type Appoval CodeZZZZZZ = serial number
A = check digit
10 or 01 = Finland
20 or 02 = Emirates
30 or 03 = Korea
40 or 04 = China
50 or 05 = Brazil, USA, Finland
60 or 06 = HK, China, Mexico
70 or 07 = Finland
80 or 08 = Hungary
91 or 19 = Finland
Some said that :
- 08 or 80 this means your cell phone was manufactured in Germany which is fair quality
- 01 or 10 this means your cell phone was manufactured in Finland which is very Good
- 00 this means your cell phone was manufactured in original factory which is the best Mobile Quality
- 02 or 20 this means your cell phone was assembled in Emirates which is very Bad quality
- 13 this means your cell phone was assembled in Azerbaijan which is very Bad quality and also dangerous for your health
To check that Your IMEI is GOOD or NOT go to this website : please click here <----- The picture above indicate that your phone is in good quality. That all from me . Tell your friend about this before the buy the fake one.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Me Gembira dapat promosi untuk DDCzone
Kita Gunakan ayat skema jawapan peperiksaan SPM:
Terbaru blog DDCzone telah menerima dua promosi daripada sahabat-sahabat rakan kongsinya. Oleh yang demikian, pihak DDczone sebagai ucapan tanda terima kasih kepada mereka ini blog ini akan mempromosikan balik blog2 mereka ini hanya dalam post ini sahaja.
My Mesin Basuh Story
There is this couple who has a son and a small house. They lived comfortably and happily.They have this habit of informing each other when they want to have sex so that each partner will be prepared. Lately the wife's parents had been frequently visiting them and will make it a habit to stay for quite a while . so their privacy of discussing their night activity is rather limited with so many ears around and so little space. So the husband cameup with an idea.
Husband : Sayang, bila mak bapak yang ada sini, kalau kita nak projek,abang nanti kata, malam ni kena basuh kain tau .. jadi yang fahamlah yang malamtu abang nak projek ...
Wife : OK-lah bang .
So, the "basuh kain" thing worked out fine .. one day they had a misunderstanding and they were not on speaking terms and to make things worse the in laws came for another stay. After a day or two, the
husband wanted to have sex, so he called his son and said :-
Husband : Atan, pi habak kat mak hang, malam ni dia kena basuh kain
And so, atan went to themother and said:-
Atan : Mak, mak ... abah kata malam ni mak kena basuh kain .........
Wife : Pi habak kat bapak hang, mak kata WASHING MACHINE ROSAK ..
So, Atan went and told his father .. he was frustrated but he waited. The inlaws were still around and after a few days, he had the urged again, so he sent his son again with the same message...
Husband : Atan, pi habak kat mak hang, malam ni dia kena basuh kain,dahbanyak dok simpan. And so atan went and came back to his father with this answer :-
Atan : Mak kata, abah hang ni tak faham ka .WASHING MACHINE DOK ROSAK LAGI.. simpanlah dulu...
Then the inlaws went back, and thinking that they already had a long fight and she also had the urge to have sex, the mother sent the son to the father :-
Wife : Atan, pi habak kat bapak hang, mak kata WASHING MACHINE DAH BAIK,malam ni boleh basuh kain ..So, Atan went and told his father .... and he went back to his mother with his father's reply:-
Husband : Hang pi habak kat mak hang .. bapak kata tak payahlah nak basuh kain malam ni ..
BAPAK DAH BASUH DENGAN TANGAN!!!!!
Menantu I nyer Citer
Mamat ni amat lah tergila-gilakan Minah anak Pak Haji Dollah. Minah nie boleh lah tahan cun nya. Mamat ni pun tak kalah lah kacaknya. Ngurat-punya-ngurat tersangkutlah dua hati ini. Pak Haji Dollah bukanlah jenis yang memilih sangat orangnya, tambahan pulak si Mamat ini pandai berlakon, depan Pak Haji Dollah dia bukan main warak lagi, berkopiah dikepala. Selepas ditetapkan hari kahwinnya, maka lancar je jawab nikahnya si Mamat tadi. Biasalah malamnya agak lewat sikit keluarga Haji Dollah masuk tidurnya pasal dok berkemas rumah lepas kenduri siangnya. Pasangan Mamat dan Minah pun lewat jugak lah masuk tidurnya.
Selepas semuanya selesai dan semuanya nyenyak tidurnya, pagi besoknya Pak Haji Dollah pun mengejutkan semua isi rumah untuk solat subuh. Semua isi rumah pun bangun dan si Mamat dan Minah pun bangun mandi dan bersiap untuk mendirikan solat subuh. Tapi dek kerana lewat bangun, Si Mamat tak sempat bersolat jemaah dengan Pak Haji Dollah. Walaupun telah dikejutkan awal oleh isterinya Minah.
Maka, Pak Haji Dollah pun suruhlah menantunya tu solat sendirian ketika ahli keluarga lainnya sedang berwirid. Si Mamat pun qamat dan dirikanlah solat subuhnya. Selepas selesai solatnya dan memberi salam. Pak Haji Dollah pun menegur menantunya Si Mamat tadi, "Hai Mat kenapa solat subuh tiga rakaat?" lantas Si Mamat Jawab "eh.. ia ke? tiga rakaat? rasa-rasanya dah cukup empat rakaat tadi..."
Masya Allah.. mengucap panjang Pak Haji Dollah. Si Minah tersenyum sipu malu dengan gelagat suaminya. Sahla si Mamat ni tak pernah sembahyang subuh! Kantoi..kantoi...
Monday, March 14, 2011
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